WILL SMITH: NINE LESSONS FOR MEN

We learn from Will Smith that having money, good looks, status, and the love of a woman does not necessarily mean that she will stay attracted and attached to you.

With startling clarity, we see that even though a man may have money and power, his mindset, how he conducts himself and his grasp of intersexual dynamics can significantly impact how his relationship turns out.

As they say in the manosphere, money cannot save beta.

Below are nine masculinity lessons we can learn from Will Smith.

1. YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE HER HAPPY

Will Smith said in his interviews that when he started dating Jada, his goal was to make her happier than Tupac ever did. He said, “ I was going to satisfy this woman sexually, or I was going to die trying.”

Guys, you cannot make a woman happy, and that’s not the goal of a union like marriage. A woman’s happiness fluctuates based on various things going on inside and outside of her. You are just one factor. The closest you can move to make her happy is making her respect you. Heck, most women cannot tell happiness from a can of paint. Who are you?

Will thought he could make Jada happy.

He tried for 20 years.

He failed spectacularly.

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Smith said that a low point in their marriage was after his wife’s 40th birthday party, which he spent three years planning. She disliked what he did and chastised him as being selfish for planning her such a big birthday.

He told Oprah, “We realized that it was a fantasy illusion that we could make each other happy. We agreed that she had to make herself happy, and I had to make myself happy.”

He continued: “Then we were going to present ourselves back to the relationship already happy – versus demanding that the other person fill our empty cup.” This is also a wrongheaded path, but that’s Will (look at point 8 below).

2. PEDESTALIZE HER

He pedestalized Jada. Women say they want to be treated like queens. But if you treat her like a queen, you lower yourself to be her boot-licking subject, which is not your rightful position as her man. This leaves her thinking she made a mistake to hook up with a subject (a sub-optimal man) instead of getting herself a king. This lowers attraction and kills her desire for you.

Never show a woman that you are lucky to have her. This supplication makes her suspect she settled for less. Always conduct and present yourself as a high-value man. Never self-deprecate before her and do not simp through free validation and bending over backwards.

Rather than worship the floor she walked on, he should have stuck to his purpose and raised his value. Social proof and a solid masculine frame would have made him more attractive in her eyes.

3. SHARE YOUR VULNERABILITIES

Will believes in unconditional love, and he believes Jada shares that concept of love.

He thinks that by being vulnerable and emoting like a female as we see men do in Soap Opera’s, Jada will love him earnestly. Because of this false belief, he shares his innermost feelings and vulnerabilities with his wife instead of his therapist or close male friends (support system).

This is a fundamental mistake.

Women want openness, but they do not want full disclosure. Full disclosure destroys the mystique she has built around you and erodes her fantastical beliefs about you.

The most powerful tool for attraction is her imagination. Telling her everything destroys this.
Love is what she imagines it to be.
Please don’t mess it up for her with your whiny sob stories.
She needs a hero, and she has picked you. Don’t deny her that with your tears and mucus. She needs to be the victim. If you share your story of suffering, childhood trauma and start crying, you upstage her.
You are a man; you’re supposed to deal with it. Nobody cares.

Remember, the hero only gets the chick at the end of his struggles.

4. LOVE IS AN ENGENDERED FEELING

Will doesn’t understand how women love. He thinks women love idealistically as men do. Women are hypergamous because their love is not about ideals or altruism.

A woman loves you for what you are, not who you are. Despite what Disney tells you, who you are is auxiliary and is not the primary thing for women.

This is why women wait at the finish line and pick the winners: your struggles are unimportant to her.

You have childhood trauma? She wants you to man up.

Will thought that sharing his insecurities about Tupac and showing Jada who he really was would make her love him more: that just showed her how broken and low-confidence he is, which killed her attraction for him.

5. MAKE HER THE CENTERPIECE

He made Jada the focus of his life rather than a complement to his.
You can see that rather than share the red carpet with her, he wants the spotlight on her, not both of them. This means he approached the relationship from the point of scarcity rather than abundance.

He thought by validating her and supplicating to her, she will feel appreciated.

Jada became the prize in the relationship, and he, the unworthy recipient who must toil to deserve her and keep her happy. Will’s default approach in the relationship was to simp. He praised her at every opportunity. This betadized him and lowered her attraction for him. Nothing disgusts a woman as a man supplicating to her to gain her approval.

6. GASLIGHTING

He allowed her to gaslight him. We saw this in the red table talk about entanglement with August where she blamed Will for not making her feel happy. Many women will do wrong things and make it appear as if it is the man’s fault. The payoff for this is to avoid taking responsibility and accepting the burden of working on herself.

Once you allow manipulation, you will always be running around in circles trying to meet shifting goalposts, trying to please her and apologizing for doing things you never did.

7. ALPHA WIDOW

He picked the wrong woman. He picked Tupac’s alpha widow. In the mind of an alpha widow, all other men will always come second to her alpha, who left his imprint on her. This situation means you are chasing a standard set by another man – a standard you can never meet.

Men also find a similar problem with women with high notch counts. Throughout his marriage, Will has been competing with a ghost. There is no greater nightmare than this in a relationship.

Will said, “He (Tupac) triggered the perception of myself as a coward,” he continued. “I hated that I wasn’t what he was in the world, and I suffered raging jealousy. I wanted Jada to look at me like that.”

Not only was Jada an alpha widow: Will was insecure from the get-go and felt like a beta option for Jada.

8. FEMCENTRIC VIEW

He sees his relationship problems through a female lens rather than be his mental point of origin. Women tend to complicate things and lean towards drama and chaos (most just want to “feel” something rather than fix a problem conclusively). Because Jada is holding the frame in the relationship, she makes the decisions. That is why their relationship “solutions” is so convoluted.

Are we unattracted to me sexually? Hmmm…Let us have an open relationship and sleep with other people. Then once we are happy from having sex with other people, we can come back, cups full and make each other happy. We can’t connect emotionally? Hmmm…

Let me hire a relationship expert to help me with this. It has been long since I felt so good? Let me get into an entanglement with August. Do we have a bad marriage? Let us have a bad marriage for life.

50 Cent has been his only true friend through all this drama. He told Will what Will needed to hear. But as we know, you cant save beta. When the student is ready, the teacher will emerge.

Look, guys, if it’s not working, it is not working.

Genuine desire cannot be negotiated. Therapy sessions, open relationships, entanglements, counselling and so on cannot be a substitute for this.

Walk away and get a suitable partner. Don’t humiliate yourself like Will.

9. CONFIDENCE

Women love confident men.

She is with you because you are the best man she can get. Set aside your insecurities and self doubt. Conduct yourself as if you are the best man available to her and believe it. Do not be afraid of other men; ghosts, friend zoned beta orbiters, rich bazengas, celebs, fare senders, emotional tampons and so on.

You are the man. Her man. That’s it.

Believe in the uncompromising accuracy of hypergamy and own your position.
Never self-deprecate, never supplicate.
You are the man. You are the one that matters.

Everyone else be damned.

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